: Eos now

New Eos?

I just got the cover art back for my version of our new single! We're doing something different this time, and we've got four version of the new single out - one for each of us. Each one has the single, "Gold Lion," and then a few songs that we've done individually (or together). My version is going to include some songs I did with my father in London and feature some people I've met during my time in London.

I hope to load up the tracks for you guys soon, but for now, here's the cover:





I'm going to switch back from blonde soon, I swear. But for now, it's okay. I look like I belong in the Starsmore family and that creeps me out. I'll probably never go fully blonde ever again after this. What do you guys prefer - blonde or brunette?

First person that says blondes have more fun gets kicked in the nuts.

EDIT: Here are more photos from the shoot. Can you see the London influence? I think I spent too much time over there these last few months. But I've met some cool people in the process!

( some of the set... )

I'm thinking about getting a new tattoo. When I was at my doctor's earlier this month, I had to get dressed in those "doctor's office" clothes and my father's wife saw just how many tattoos I had. Her reaction made me laugh. She's so fucking tight-laced.

My mom has two tattoos. Her most visible one is a greek key design around her right forearm. She got it (illegally) when she was 15. I, on the other hand, have 5.

I got my first tattoo when I was 16. It was celebrating my heritage, so my mom and dad talked it over and my mom signed the consent form. It's on my lower back, and it's a rising sun, rose-tinted, with my name in Greek underneath (Ήως). If you've ever read the Odyssey, you know that Eos is the Goddess of the Dawn and that Homer calls her "rosy-fingered," like, 50845947650 times. I kind of got addicted. It was a good respite from cutting. I have a tattoo that Ville designed for me, it looks like a flame with a base, but they're really shadows. It's pretty small, and on the inside of my right wrist. And by small, I mean at least two inches long. I can cover it with a sweatband small. It's on my mic/pick wrist because that's how Ville interprets my music/personality, which is "deep shadows and brilliant highlights." Basically I can be emo as fuck and happy and cheerful, too. Haha.

I also have a couple more tattoos that mean less to me, but those are the two major ones. I have a small wing on either ankle, kind of like Hermes' wings! They're both colored to represent Lampos and Phaethon (Firebright and Daybright), her two horses. I have a set of old school swallows (who the fuck doesn't?) on my shoulder blades, but they're really the crows from Incubus' "A Crow Left of the Murder." Brandon is the one who initially believed in us and signs us to his label, but before that I always respected him so much from afar, as a musician and artist. So I am glad to have some of his art on me.

My most recent tattoo, a year ago, were lyrics to a song my mom wrote me when I was just a baby. She used to sing it to me to get me to stop crying and it was on one of her albums later. I got some of the lines in script on my ribcage/side.


Anyway, I want to get another one, but I just can't seem to figure out what I want. Any suggestions? Oh, and I want it to be a leg piece. I haven't gotten anything there yet. Maybe the back of my calf or side of my upper thigh. I'm pretty excited about it.

You know what? I don't have any upper arm pieces, either. Hm.

It's official, now. I'm his. I knew. He knew. Even Uncle Hank knew. But you just felt you had to prove something, didn't you? Guess what? You failed. Mom won. I win. In the end, we all lost.

I hope you're happy now, you selfish hag.

( written early Friday morning - for my dad, and for x )

( a song for my boyfriend, written 3am after a dream )

I need you more than anything in my life/I want you more than anything in my life/I'll miss you more than anyone in my life/I love you more than anyone in my life

Ville & I had a photoshoot with Kerrang! for their annual guitarist issue. OHHH YEAH. Check it out!

LOOK. I KNOW THERE'S A NEW ROONEY VIDEO. I GOT THE MESSAGE. OKAY? STOP TELLING ME.



I like how he uses his mom to get popular. fucking asshole.

Now I know.

Now I know why my mother never wanted me to come to England. Why my dad looked so sad when I said I wanted to play guitar. Why I have the powers I have. Why I look the way I do.

I never thought I would care if I met my father. Now I know it's not that simple.

And it hurts. It hurts that his wife thinks I'm a liar and a spoiled, unwanted child. It hurts that she takes her hatred for my mother out on me. I've done nothing to her, but for some reason, my very existence has rocked her marriage to the core.

I've always known my dad isn't my real father. When I was young, my mom told me how she and my father were in love, but he left her before she could tell him she was pregnant. Since this was apparently a pattern with him, she decided that it would be better for the both of us if she were to just raise me on her own.

And then my dad, at that point a friend of my mom's, found out Mom was pregnant. And, like any friend who hated the abandoning bastard of a father, tried to help out as much as possible. They got closer as it got closer to the due date. And then, like everything fit, dad told mom that he would take care of her. And me, when I was born. And together, we were a family. An odd one, but a family nonetheless.

I've always been told that my biological father was no good, and it's better that I never know anything about it. And I haven't. I've always been left in the dark. I don't look like my mom, and so I'm left to try and figure out how my father might look when I look at myself in the mirror. I don't know where my powers came from, so I'm left to wonder just how similar they are to my father's. Even my telepathy tutor, a former teacher of my father's, said I was better off without him. Bobby, my dad, has always been there for me, and that's all I'll ever need.

But it still hurts to know that he didn't know anything about me. And for some reason, it hurts that his wife doesn't accept me, and in turn their children don't, either.

It hurts so much.

Soon, I will be at Heathrow Airport in London, England. I've been to Europe before - my uncle lives in Germany and I've been to Greece and some of the countries inbetween, but never England.

This will be our first time as a band playing in England. We're really scared, mostly because we've gotten used to larger crowds here in the U.S. Ville is especially about to shit himself, because if we're received poorly in England, he just might kill himself.

We have two shows at the 101, otherwise known as the Blue & Yellow, which I'm really excited about. They're mostly mutant crowds and I've never played to one before, so I can kind of let loose. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.

NOW THAT WE'RE PLAYING IN ENGLAND, Johnny and I are psyched about doing a Genesis cover. The English appreciate Genesis more than Americans. Pfft. We're either going to play "Tonight..." or "Land of Confusion."

When it rains, I love staying in the apartment with a fuzzy pair of sweats and listening to Tori Amos.

Later today, Johnny and I are ordering Chinese and watching some movies. I think later we might have dinner with his parents and his aunt and uncle. No working on the album today, as Thom is out of town for a family thing.

FLASH FLOOD ALERT! I'm glad we live in Four Freedoms. We're set if pretty much anything comes our way. Flood, fire, nuclear weapons, evil villains trying to lift the building into orbit...

Anyone have any movie recommendations?

Some lyrics for a song I've been working on. We're trying for some darker sounds in the second album, so I want the guitar in this one to really scream. Johnny, I was thinking heavy rolls for the snare. What do you think?


Some people wonder how I come up with lyrics. It's usually the same way, but sometimes I'll deviate. I have a book of lyrics and snippets that I'll come up with on occassion. I might be somewhere randomly and think of something, so I'll write it on a napkin or my hand. That's why I always have a marker with me.

For this song, I had one line: "I want something good to die for to make it beautiful to live," and I constructed the rest of the lyrics around that line. That is the most important line in this song for me.

more photos will be added as I find them.